every little moment

i can not seem to shut my brain off lately.

even sleeping, i have so many moments of my day running through my head. all of them.

running things over that i have done....

but all in the world of minecraft.

seriously. doing mundane tasks, but seeing it as minecrasfting like world. is hilarious. right down to changing diapers. which is more hilarious.

babies and Crawling

i had this dream the other night. S army crawled up on me. S is only 2 months old. and she was determined to crawl up on my in a hyper fast way. Woke up to J being on top of me, in my face saying " mama.. i need to sleep here" J is almost 3 years old. scared the crap out of me.

also had another dream of S super fast army crawling from a kitchen into a living room infested with kittens of every size. from hamster sized to lion sized. but all normal house cats in various stages of kitten hood. from 4 weeks old to 3 months old.

i wonder what the heck is up with that?

bottles...

had a dream last night. rather strange. i haven't had time for updating lately as with the new baby finally here, haven't dreamed much.

i wonder what dreaming of pumping off breastmilk into tons and tons and tons of bottles means? like i filled my desk and the floor around my desk with bottles and bottles of milk. oh this state of mind i have right now.

Moon Dreams

had this dream about this huge long explanation about how earth had 2 moons and they smashed into each other. which is why the moon no longer rotates. and one side is smooth and the other side is full of jagged mountains and awesome looking landscapes.


which turned into a dream about how the moon was moving 1 km closer to the earth every year. it's orbit was sloooowwwlllyyy decaying and in just a few years would be close enough to cause major havoc on this planet.

we surmounted this huuuge expidition that led us tot he moon and discovering because of our previous exploits on the moon, we had bumped it out of it's delicate orbit. they were contemplating blowing the entire moon up. which the entire earth was against.

so it came to be that we ended up colonizing the moon on the jagged side to balance the moon out and put it back into a proper orbit. which was the whole problem. the moon was too heavy on one side and had a hard time balancing out the weight in a proper way.

i could not live on the moon, i got space sick. like severely space sick. but i became a photographer capturing the different exploits down on earth of building the colony in pieces and them trying to decide if they should make it a stepping point to colonizing mars or not. and they had to figure out how to make oxygen.

which was done with setting up huuuuuge domes on the side with light with trees in them, it took a few years to figure out the right trees to use. Birch because the right tree. tamarack for the srpuce trees and variety.

it was kinda a crazy dream. i never dream in scifi.. usually fantasy. was a nice change of pace.

Dreams are silly...

I've been having alotof Trapped dreams lately. either being pinned by something, or caught in a physical trap. so many and so intense that it has carried over the feeling into my daily life at times.

I am also currently 6 months pregnant with our second child. and i have a job, but need another. no one wants a 6 month pregnant woman working there. too many liabilities. knowing she WILL leave in 3 months or less. it totally blows. hence the trapped feelings.

i will love this baby. it will be loved like my first child is.

just makes it more fustrating that a act of love like my boyfriend does, makes me want to fight my way out from underneath him. either because i am pressed against a wall as he kisses me, or i feel his body touching mine and knowing there is only one way out of it. it just makes it extremely fustrating.

i know they will pass, a nd i will have this job to come back to when i am able after this baby. and possibly get a second one to stay caught up on the bills. but the first little while will be difficult, as this one is a november baby. and a month after that, is the end of christmas season, when it is the HARDEST to find a job. since so many people are being let go at that time. january is difficult.

So you can see why dreams of being trapped are coming up alot more lately.

the latest one was being a human in a cage with my daughters. (i have no idea if this one is a boy or a girl) but they were int here, it was 6 ft high, and 10 ft long by 8 ft wide. let out only long enough to do my job and put right back into the cage. my daughters were kept there, so i would come back. not a pretty dream at all. hopefully they will get better soon.